On my 39th birthday, I had an epiphany…
…I am more conscious than ever of life slipping by me. And the fact that this is it, and it’s more than half done now. I need to spend the time now doing what I want to do. This life will pass. Everything will pass and the time spent in unhappiness waiting for other people to help; no, they needn’t change and they needn’t help. If I will be happy, I will have set my own agenda.
So here I am.
I feel hope as I enter into my fortieth year. I have a confidence I lacked; I’ve found some strength in myself not to live the life that isn’t me. … I will seek the happiness myself, or live alone and find fulfilment and beauty in that life, but not hunger for the eternal tomorrow in someone else’s gift. I will not live that lie anymore. I swear to take responsibility for myself. Something amazing has happened to me. I have found the strength through choice or design to walk away from what has not nourished my soul, and walked away somehow from the impossible.
I undertake to weep no more tears for the lost life in a career of misery.
I’m looking for myself, and I know I’ve been away. I’m embracing change and sacrificing what was not meant for me. I cannot be responsible anymore for the expectations of others. If they judge me harshly for the choices I have had to make, so be it, for their judgement is worthless. My soul has been dying and it is time for rebirth.
I have made bold choices and now I choose to walk away from misery.
The future will see my soul nourished and it begins now.